Facebook is adding a dislike button!!!! I'm so fucking stoked. I hope instead of thumbs down its a fully engorged middle finger the size of dikembe mutombo's, so I can be like "fuck your ignorant ass homophobic fear mongering post!!!", "fuck your Muse video", "fuck your baby, he can't even walk yet". Facebook is going to turn into a war zone. The gluten free people are gonna dislike your sandwich, the vegans are gonna dislike your achievement at Carnitas Snack Shack and I'm gonna dislike your selfies. And right on time for the election. No coincidence there. It's probably invented so that Donald Trump can become the Rebecca Black of facebook, a household name by virtue of ubiquitous disdain.
Will people use it sparingly and responsibly, simply so when you post about your uncle's death, they don't have to ask queries of social etiquette like "do I "like" this post?" Fuck no! People are going to run amok. If you finish a marathon and post about it, I will take it as a direct affront to my poor physical stamina and dislike it. I'm wondering how bands will fare, especially in a local sphere. Will people have the balls to be honest with their opinions regarding the youtube video of someone you could potentially run into at Starbucks? Only time will tell. Will the digital hate spill into the streets? Of course, this is America!!!!! Man, I wish you could dislike this post. I have since read that it will be less of a dislike and more of an empathy button, which I'm praying elicits the losing trombone from the Price is Right. Because nothing says "I'm sorry you weren't accepted to college" like the sad trombone.