Harvesting Likes

As a “musician” (I mostly bang on pots and pans while hoping Jake Najor doesn’t hear I’m off time and throw a stick at the back of my deserving head), I try to figure out the magic algorithm to navigate the potency of facebook. I’m chuckling to myself because in my head I hear “Al Gore Rhythm”, and I picture him dancing to “I Like to Move It” and that’s funny to me. I think I’ve finally cracked the code. Write a post at 10am on an overcast Wednesday about the time a pigeon shit on your face, 100+ likes, 7 shares, 32 comments. Write a post about the gig you have or the video you worked hard on at any time a day, 11 likes (5 are in the band, 2 worked on the video, one dates you but his having second thoughts due to your short supply of likes, one is your mother who you want to unfriend so you can post about that nitrous balloon experience at Jazz Fest, but you need to harvest her like and the other two you have miraculously “reached”). Yesterday I got my oil changed at the Midas and I talked music to the cat changing my oil, he was a “musician” too. I watched his youtube video hoping for a chuckle, but instead I got to watch this dude shred on piano, a time turned hobby in the face of mouth feed reality. We’re all fucked was my takeaway from that exchange! I understand that as a “musician” I moan the mantra of the delusional, which is “we’re all fucked, except for me”, a mantra whispered by millions, each of whom believes the correctness of that statement. Would I even recognize at this point if I sucked, has the mantra numbed me, would anyone tell me, do I belong trapped in the purgatory of Tuesday night gigs at Mother’s Saloon for an eternity of Freebird requests? I may have strayed from my initial point, but here I am, asking a simple question. How do we engage with you without inundating you? How do we reach you? We’re so many hushed hums vying for the sliver of time you don’t have with sounds unfamiliar. I’m guilty, I listen to Zeppelin in my free time because the familiar gives me comfort, but I’ll always be an explorer as well. I’ll never tag a hundred people in a post, because when I get tagged in a post with that many people I’m either livid, or it’s an unbelievable deal on Ray-Bans, that I simply can’t purchase fast enough. Facebook has made musician pages limper than the dick of your average republican presidential candidate, unless you pay and making the money we make, it’s hard if not impossible to put cash behind every post. So if you’d be willing to “follow” those band pages of ours, I’ll link to them in the comments, cause it seems when I place them in a post, said post becomes inert. And this is to spark a dialogue, so if you play music, or listen to music, please chime in. I want to learn something today.