Ass-Hole-Lean

Well, this would be the first time I’ve posted a Scott Weiland video ever in my life. There was a brief window in 1994 where I could have theoretically done such a thing, but it was an age of no “walls” and considerably less screens, a postless era. I have a group thread on facebook with Jason Littlefield and Erik Canzona entitled “Dick Dog.” I can only assume that somewhere in years past, someone sent a photograph of a dog that looked like a dick (hopefully not a dick that looked like a dog) and the thread was born.

Every so often my phone pings and I get an alert saying “dick dog has received a message” and I perk up with excitement like a……..well…….. like a dick........ or a dog near my fried chicken, either way, the dick dog thread is aptly named. It’s usually a video of a heroic failure, an adorable animal or a life changing musical event. I root for the failures.

Today it was Jason Littlefield delivering this amazing video of Scott Weiland in what’s basically a Stone Temple Pilots cover band. In the video, he utterly butchers the signature hit Vasoline, a song he should be very familiar with. The video sounds like the security footage from one of those rehearsal warehouses where bands with corporate day jobs let loose and fire something from Huey Lewis and the News Sports album through a shitty p.a. His demeanor looks like he’s been eating from the buffet of heroin brownies for 24 straight hours, but who knows what demons are dangling the puppet strings over his corpselike body. "Scott Weiland’s rep has spoken to TMZ about the performance, blaming it on lack of sleep, a couple of drinks and an faulty earpiece. The rep says that Weiland has been overnighted new earbuds in time for his show in Baton Rouge, La., tonight." -loudwire.com Maybe he’s drinkin heroin smoothies. The thread went on for a while after we had all seen the videos. If earbuds make that degree of difference, I’m gonna get some so I can finally do my solo Jeff Buckley tribute night at Copley. Erik had the most tremendous quote of the thread, “Somewhere Layne Staley is stoked he od'd before having to play a Guitar Center without earbuds.” But there we were, an hour’s worth of Scott Weiland themed emails, asking ourselves who really won this round. For a moment Scott Weiland was the most relevant he’s been to me since I heard that one song off the Crow soundtrack. I might even listen to a song on spotify, let my fraction of a cent go to his earbud fund, keep the dream of the 90s from being deferred. Though it will definitely be on private if I listen.